The developers of Monster Oil are professional trumpet players. After years of experimenting, they decided to develop their own product to help players of all levels keep their instrument working well. I encourage you to give Monster Oil a test drive, you will not be disappointed!
"If you need to make sure your valves are working there's only one product you need to use - Monster. Perfect. You won't have any issues forever."
Ryan Anthony, Principal Trumpet of the Dallas Symphony
Hello and thanks for joining Monster Oil on the internets! If you have a piece of metal that makes loud noises then you are in the right place. We are the industry leaders in brass instrument lubrication and have a product to suit any of your brass on brass needs! If you're looking for valve oils, slide grease or slide oil - you've found the home of the best brass instrument lubrication products out there!
Time for MadLibs! Doc Severinsen loves to put -noun- Oil on his -noun-. When we -verb (past tense)- our oil to him he was so excited he -verb (past tense)- all over town! We made this stuff from the ground up to make the master happy, and it's the only thing he uses. Grab a bottle and -verb- it all over your horn just like Doc! Seriously though... There's a good reason Doc Severinsen is one of the greatest trumpet players of all time–he's extremely picky. We started sending him valve oil samples, and he loved them, but would constantly want to tweak them until they were just right. Well we finally got it right and he's in love! This is the valve oil Doc loves and uses. It is a fully synthetic oil that is designed to clean, protect, and lubricate your valves.
Our original formula valve oil. Best application for all-around, hassle-free, quick-action, buttery-smooth, long-lasting use. Takes forever to evaporate. Hide your kids, put on your sunglasses---this is the Monster Oil that will change the world. Appropriate for every trumpet ever made. Far superior to anything on the market today. You're welcome.
For you picky snobs who have brand spanking new close-tolerance valves, and are crazy enough to think that your fingers could possibly move faster than our "Original" formula is able to keep up with, this is the juice for you. So fast. So smooth. Still long-lasting. Still a great choice for any instrument.
Some folks like to oil their valves once a year and be done with it. We cannot condone such poor instrument maintenance habits. However, what we CAN recommend is Monster's "Smoother" oil--our heaviest oil formula appropriate for valves. Not only will you get the staying power that supports your lazier tendencies, you will get the smoothest action you've ever had from a valve oil. Have an older instrument with worn valves? This will make them behave nicely, and will help to seal the gap created between valve and casing due to your vast years of neglectful and abusive ownership practices. It's so smooth you will forget that your valves even exist. Look, just buy it.
We just heard you play. You sounded out of tune, and like you were working too hard. We recommend that during your next practice session, you get in touch with your first and third valve slides--those things that your instrument designer put into place to help you stay in the center of the horn, instead of lipping everything everywhere all the time like we just heard you do. And what better way to do it than with perfection incarnate---Monster Slide Oil. A few drops lasts you between cleanings, and it's smooth enough to fool you into believing that your slides aren't really made of metal...more like made of butter. Yeah, that's about right--two sticks of butter just rubbing against each other. It feels amazing, but not as amazing as playing in tune. You have some work to do. This will help!
The Worst Part of Playing Trumpet, a Short List: 1: The sheer amount of physical human attraction that it generates from all sexes. 2: Sullen looks from newly bedeafened woodwind players. 3: Tuning slide grease. Nobody likes it. It's annoying. We get it. But it's a necessary evil, so stop whining and start putting something on your horn that NASA has been using for years: Monster slide grease. Thick, long lasting, perfect seal. You won't lose the tub either, like you normally do---this one is too good looking.
Monster Oil Cleaning Kit - Trumpet
Your horn is just not shiny enough…yet. It appears that you’re in need of one-hundred-fourty-four square inches of lint-free, double-fleeced, microfiber glory.
Choose any color you want - as long as it’s red.
Decorative lunchtime bib, sleeping bag for pet rock, cape for very small matador, floppy origami sheet, make your own pants (18 cloths should be enough). Choose your own adventure, folks.
Lite Rotor Oil $8.95
Heavy Rotor Oil $8.95
So you're trying to oil your rotary, but cars with mean people in them keep driving by shouting things like “OY! MATE! Ger'outta the rotary, you're blockin' me Mini Coopah!!!!” Before long you realize you were supposed to be oiling your “rotors”. This is the heavier version of our rotor oil if you need something a bit thicker to get things moving smoothly. And we have a specially designed precision tip with a cover that means you won't have to put this bottle in a plastic bag!
Bearing and Linkage Oil $8.95
Our Bearing/Linkage Oil (BLO) is a tremendous product. Users tell us that when they use BLO they have feelings of euphoria that can't be duplicated with anything else. BLO can be used almost anywhere, but generally players use BLO while they're lubricating all of the bearings and linkages that commonly exist on brass instruments. BLO has a unique precision tip with a cover that prevents leaking and breaking–so no more having to put your BLO in a plastic bag! When your BLO is depleted, simply call up your local dealer and ask them for the best BLO they can get their hands on.
From the Monsters at Monster Oil........
It's been a long journey, but we really wanted to get this one right. We spent about 2 years of R&D getting these new products perfect in terms of formula and packaging. The new products are Lite Rotor Oil, Heavy Rotor Oil, and Bearing/Linkage Oil.
Our proudest achievement is the brand new applicator tip - no more carrying rotor oil in plastic bags! It won't leak and the metal applicator is now protected.
As for the formula, the viscosities are dialed in to perfectly suit the needs of our customers. There is a solvent that cleans, a lubricant that keeps things slippery, and a copper passivator that prevents corrosion.
We've been testing these products on pro players for quite some time and have finally made them all happy!
H & H Music Service
1313 Washington Avenue
Evansville, IN 47714
To order online - select Buy - Accessories and choose your desired Monster Oil product.